Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
