She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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