508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
