The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Farmville is her only friend.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize