i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
