After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
