It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
