Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
