you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
