im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
