I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
