I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
