State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
