So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
