obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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