I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
