As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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