thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
