no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
