I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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