so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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