This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
