I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
