marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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