She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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