I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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