i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
