I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
