My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
