those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
do nipples grow back?
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