saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
