sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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