Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
