My room smells like vodka and shame
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
