I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
