I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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