Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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