We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
