I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize