What did we do last night that was yellow?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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