i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
