I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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