I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
