I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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