when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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