I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize