i don't like sucking hair
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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