Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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