My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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