lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
