Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
