So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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