you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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