Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
