Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize