return my video game
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize