Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
