I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
