I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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