You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you had me at cake vodka
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Alive.
So much puke
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
