Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
