Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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